Solo in South Bend (2008)

Every woman should take a solo trip at least once in her lifetime. For me, that momentous trip was to South Bend, Indiana in February of 2008.

I was recently divorced.  I had two small girls, ages 1 1/2 and 4.  I was still getting used to having every other weekend…All. To. My. Self.

My ex was/is a great dad, so I never worried about my girls when they were at his house. But in the beginning, I often struggled with how to keep myself busy when I didn’t have the girls. So I wasn’t dwelling on not being with my daughters. Or wondering exactly how they were spending their weekend.  I often ended up wandering the aisles at Walmart.  Not really sure what I needed to buy, but having no reason to hurry home.

I needed a hobby.

I needed something to look forward to.

I had already done several things to exert my newfound independence and embrace the single lifestyle. I registered on a dating site. I got a tattoo. I enjoyed some retail therapy.

But I needed a plan for how to spend those lonely weekends.  It was time for a vacation. Solo.

Solo travel was something I had never really considered. I had plenty of friends and I’m sure one of them would have joined me on this weekend excursion.  But it felt liberating to travel alone. No one to report to or check in with. No one to consult with on when or where to stop.

This would be good for me.

Not being extremely adventurous, remember this was my first solo trip, I decided to head 2 hours north to South Bend, Indiana.  Why South Bend, you ask? That’s where the South Bend Chocolate Company is and touring the chocolate factory was exactly what this single momma needed.

Some say diamonds are a girl’s best friend…I say chocolate is!

I had often enjoyed a cup of sinful hot chocolate and other tasty chocolate treats at the South Bend Chocolate Company store around the corner from my office. Getting to see how their many chocolate wonders were made and enjoy fresh samples…sign me up!

I tagged on to a tour group that included some families and a few happy couples.  I was the only solo tourist. But it felt good being on my own timetable. Doing exactly what I wanted.

I can’t remember any of the trade secrets about how their delectable chocolates were made. But I do recall getting my fill of fresh samples, and the chocolate aroma that permeated the factory.  And of course I picked up a few chocolate souvenirs to remember my momentous trip.  They may or may not have made it all the way home.

I figured it would be good to get in a little physical activity after all that chocolate. And even though it was February. In Indiana.

I wanted to go to the beach.  So I did.

I drove west to the Indiana Dunes along Lake Michigan and walked along beach. The beach was practically deserted, just a stray couple here and there.

I remember the lake air on my face, cold yet exhilarating. I loved watching and listening as the waves crashed against the ice capped mounds dotting the edge of the water. I was feeling strong and brave and free. I wanted to get closer to the waves and really take it all in.

So I stepped onto an ice capped mound.  Feeling secure, but still wanting to get closer to the awe inspiring water, I stepped on to the next layer of ice mounds. And then I fell straight down through that ice cap.

I was now waist deep in frigid, icy water.

There was no one within ear shot.  I was truly all alone.  Fortunately the water was not that deep. But in order to get out (before hypothermia set in!) I had to pull myself up and over the icy mounds.  After just a few minutes I managed to get myself out and back onto solid, sandy ground.

Safe on the beach.  Wet and freezing. Yet I was already laughing at my own stupidity just moments earlier. And at the same time feeling proud of myself for surviving “that time I was all alone and fell through the ice!”

I knew I would be just fine.  I had warm, dry clothes in the car just a short walk away, and there was a restroom facility with a hand dryer to help speed the warming process. This was exactly the kind of adventure I needed.

Putting my death defying experience behind me, I ventured on to find a place to spend the night. I don’t remember the name of the hotel I stayed at. But I do remember that it was not a five star hotel.  At best it had a 2 star rating. After all, I was a single mom. I was on a fairly tight budget, and I wasn’t used to splurging, especially on myself.

I can still picture the hotel in my mind.  It was a single strip of rooms with doors directly off of the parking lot. It wasn’t in the nicest area of town, but I felt relatively safe. And I locked my door as soon as I got in the room and stayed there the rest of the night.

I had stayed in a hotel room by myself before on work trips, but this was different. There was no conference to attend. No conference attendees to meet at the bar or join for dinner.

Instead, I embraced the solitude of my hotel room. Set the thermostat as high as I wanted. Selected whatever TV program and volume I desired. And read a book in peace. For many moms, this probably sounds like Heaven.

I took my time heading home the next day. No one was waiting for me. But I was starting to be OK with that and embraced the fact that I could be as spontaneous as I wanted.  Which for me at that time, wasn’t all that spontaneous. Baby steps.

I leisurely drove home, and even enjoyed dining out alone. Eating alone in a restaurant wasn’t exactly my favorite thing to do, but I found that if I had a good book to enjoy while I ate, I felt I had the perfect company.

I decided to make an unscheduled stop at the Albanese Confectionery Store in Merrillville.  Albanese is known for making the world’s best gummy bears, but I must admit gummy bears just aren’t my candy of choice.

This time I opted not to take the factory tour. My real reason for stopping was to check out the huge chocolate waterfall. It really did feel like I had stepped into Willy Wonka’s World!  And while I was there, I just had to taste a bit more chocolate.  I mean it would have been rude not to! And being the good mom that I am, I picked up some gummy bears to bring home for the girls.

The memories of my solo trip 10 years ago are somewhat fuzzy.

I have recalled the details as best as I can. And I don’t have any pictures to support my recollection. (Hence the unusually light number of photos accompanying this post!) Yet the feelings of liberation and the acceptance of my solitude, which I gained on that trip, are forever etched in my mind.

Even though this trip was a monumental experience for me, I no longer travel solo. I met and married my perfect travel companion, for life…and for vacations. And my daughters are catching the travel bug as well and genuinely seem excited to take family vacations.

There are many amazing women who find joy and adventure in solo travel. If you want to learn more about solo female travel, check out fellow blogger, Melissa, at She Roams About.

It’s worth saying it again. And I’m specifically talking to the females, because, well…I’m a female. Whether you choose to regularly enjoy solo travel or just go on one epic solo adventure…every woman should take a solo trip at least once in her lifetime.

Comment below to share your experiences with solo travel or your thoughts on going it alone. I’d love to hear everyone’s unique perspectives!

Wherever the road takes you, make it a joyous journey,
Traveling Tanya

P.S. Be sure to subscribe to my email list (at the top of the screen) so you will never miss out on any of Traveling Tanya’s exciting excursions or travel tips!